Looking for signs of unspoken attraction at work? How can we forget the movie 500 Days Of Summer where Tom falls in love with co-worker Summer? Everyone could feel their heartbeats racing when Summer spontaneously kissed Tom in the copy room at work.
If you fantasize about that iconic scene and there is an unspoken tension every time you sit next to a coworker in the conference room, you are definitely falling for a colleague! And no, it is not strange – a host of emotions brew between people who spend almost 8-10 hours everyday juggling work tasks. The office – where people share laughs, make friends, eat together and brainstorm every single day is known for not just candid friendships, but also for romantic, hot affairs.
13 Signs Of Unspoken Attraction Between Colleagues
According to Vault’s Office Romance Survey, 52% of respondents admitted to having had at least one office romance, with “random hookups” being the most common type of relationship. Around 13% of the respondents found a long-term relationship at work and 10% even met their spouse/partner at work.
On that note, do you feel you are caught up in a similar situation? Can you sense someone likes you at work? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Here are 17 subtle signs of unspoken attraction at work between colleagues.
1. They look for excuses to be around each other
How do you know if someone finds you attractive at work? They want to spend all their time with you. Colleagues do spend a lot of time together over work meetings, discussions and shared goals, but if your co worker likes you they will make extra effort to be with you. If there is no obvious reason to spend time together, they will create one.
If a coworker has feelings for you, they might:
- Insist on being in the same team as you at the office TT table
- Always sit next to you during lunch
- Accompany you for smoke breaks, even if they don’t smoke
- They always end up in the same breakroom at the same time
Perhaps you manage different functions in different teams and have no common ground to be together, yet, someone who is attracted to you at work will hum around you like bees around honey.
2. They give mutual support and encouragement
On the signs of unspoken attraction at work, a Reddit user says, “I’m trying to intellectualize my crush. He’s good at his job, he makes sure I feel secure, he’s supportive, and we get through professional challenges well together. That’s easy to confuse for a romantic relationship.”
So, when someone is genuinely interested in someone at work, they are not just their partner in crime on the good days but also their biggest cheerleader when things go haywire. From consoling their work crush after a bad presentation to giving them a pep talk before a big one, they are always there to lift you up. If things are not working out for them, they will be offering their advice and encourage. This is possibly one of the biggest sign of unspoken mutual attraction at work.
This May Also Help: 25 Sure Signs A Female Coworker Likes You
3. Their body language says it all
If someone fancies you, you can see it in their body language. Some movies call it the ‘look of love’. Some even say, “Eyes don’t lie”. So, if two people have chemistry brewing between them at work, their body language around their secret crush at work will hold the key.
- Someone attracted to you will make prolonged or intense eye-contact with you or gaze at you lovingly even from afar
- Smile wider when their crush is around
- Seasoned professionals will also fidget and be nervous if they are in the presence of someone they feel attracted to
The signs of attraction at work also include finding ways to get close to each other. They may also display an open body language toward each other, blurring the lines of professional boundaries such as:
- An accidental, subtle touch while passing documents
- A gentle pat on the back
- Mostly taking adjacent seats during meetings
Colleagues who are attracted to each other will often be seen exchanging glances, and act impishly when together. Just as they sense the presence of their work-crush, they will start to fix their hair or adjust their clothes, losing focus and fidgeting around- the classic sign of romantic attraction. Anything and everything takes a backseat as the idea here is to impress each other.
4. When one is on leave, the other will be sad
“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, It’s not warm when she’s away, Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, And she’s always gone too long…” This Bill Withers song will be on the playlist of anyone who misses their crush, and evidently play every time their work-crush takes a sick leave. In every workplace, there is always a group of a few people who are very close but on a platonic level. However, if an employee feels too gloomy when their partner is not around, it can be assumed that their feeling is more than just friendliness.
Similarly, for them, a mundane day at work gets 100x better when they are around. Just seeing their face in the morning feels like a fresh cup of coffee that gets them through the day!
5. They notice the little things about each other
Two people who have sexual tension between them would notice the slightest of changes in each other. They know what they will drink at the team party, and whether they wore that dress earlier or not. Even slight changes in appearances and habits will not go unnoticed. These unspoken signs of mutual attraction at work will manifest subconsciously, like one ordering a specific food item for the other, just as they would have.
Nothing escapes their observation! If someone fancies you, they notice everything.
6. They both hang out post office hours
Two people attracted toward each other secretly may often tease each other and mask questions to get to know each other better. These are all signs they are secretly in love. Deep down, they enjoy getting each other’s attention. And despite these occasional brief petty quarrels they are too comfortable around each other.
On the signs of mutual attraction at work, a Reddit user points out, “Things are getting a little harder now. We’ve been swapping music and movies lately, and realizing that we’re even more similar than we thought. This has led to long strings of subtly flirty emails, “lunch dates”, and more recently, secret plans to hang out and get pissed (drunk).”
So, if two people who feel for each other would want to spend time as a couple beyond office hours, be it grabbing dinner or watching a movie. They may keep things discreet and low, but soon their closeness will give their feelings away.
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7. They seem to talk everyday
“Oh, Linda might be late to work today, she was at her Mom’s yesterday.”
“I am sure Sam had great fun this weekend, he had to hit the bachelors pad!”
The most telling sign of unspoken attraction at work is when two people know about each other more than the rest of the staff. This is because they have become a part of each others’ routine. They talk even on weekends, through dank memes. They are all over each other’s social media platforms from LinkedIn and Facebook to WhatsApp and Instagram delivering huge doses affection and entertainment.
8. Mirroring each other
Have you seen the viral memes of Zendaya and Tom Holland perfectly mirroring each other for a full minute? But what exactly does ‘mirroring’ mean? When two people, for instance, colleagues are attracted to each other, they tend to subconsciously mimic each other’s mannerisms.
This could be anything from how they stand or sit to the way they speak in a professional setting. Interestingly, research shows that mirroring can be used as a therapeutic tool to deepen intimacy and connection between couples. So, if you find yourself imitating someone’s tone or gestures, it could be a subtle sign of unspoken love!
9. They go the extra mile for each other
If a guy is flirting with a female colleague at work ‘accidently’, he will go out the way to do things like:
- Dressing up better to impress her
- Cooking her favorite meal and bringing it to office
- Grabbing her favorite coffee/chocolate without her asking
These gestures speak louder than words! Similarly, if a girl finds her male coworker attractive, she will also display non-verbal signs of attraction such like complimenting his achievements or offering to help him with a task without being asked.
10. They value each other’s opinion
Unspoken chemistry is not just limited to eye contact and fireworks. It also means keenly listening to your favorite person. So they are definitely attracted to someone at work if they say things like:
- “You’re the best person to ask about this.”
- “I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.”
- “I trust your judgment.”
- “What would you do in this situation?”
11. Unspoken mutual attraction and inside jokes go hand-in-hand
If two people communicate in a secret language that no one else can understand, their is definitely a hint of mutual attraction. They have unspoken chemistry with each other, where they have created a hidden world that no one else can access. These inside jokes are pulling them closer, so if you are wondering if two colleagues are attracted to each other, don’t underestimate the power of these little moments.
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12. A hint of jealousy
A study conducted on college students in premarital relationships to establish links between jealousy and relationship closeness defined the positive and negative attributes of romantic jealousy, clearly distinguishing emotional/reactive jealousy as mostly good and cognitive/suspicious jealousy as bad.
“A little bit of jealousy in a healthy relationship is fine,” says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love, “It’s going to wake you up. When you’re reminded that your mate is attractive and that you’re lucky, it can stimulate you to be nicer and friendlier. However, when jealousy is chronic, debilitating, and overt – well, that’s when it becomes a problem.”
When a person has a crush on someone, jealousy can sometimes sneak in, even if they try to hide it. Pangs of jealousy may make one feel:
- Protective when their love interest laughs with someone else
- Anxious if their crush spends too much time with another colleague
- Feeling left out if the person in question hangs out with a group that doesn’t include you
When there are sparks of unspoken attraction between married coworkers, these signs become largely pronounced, especially to others. The frequent lunch break and the tension in the air that arises due to blurred lines is usually easy to spot.
13. Colleagues into each other remain oblivious to the world
Have you noticed how two people attracted to each other become oblivious to the whole world around them? Exchanging shy glances, staring at each other, maintaining extended eye contact in a meeting or during the lunch can be the pronounced signs of unspoken attraction between colleagues.
On workplace affairs, a Reddit user says, “I’ve never regretted an interoffice fling. They’re fun, sexy, and sometimes a bit strange. Ultimately I doubt this is the last company you’ll ever be working for. If you guys date and it doesn’t work out, worst case scenario, she will avoid you awkwardly for a few months. Life is for experimentation, go for it.”
But, before the much-in-love coworkers convert this sexual tension and flirting into a full-fledged relationship, they must ask themselves the following questions:
- How closely do they work with this person?
- If the two of you split, is it going to be impossible to function in your jobs’ without constantly interfacing with them?
- Is he/she your direct superior?
- Does the company have a policy against coworkers dating?
While it can be quite exciting to experience the signs of unspoken mutual attraction at work, it may not be the best place to give in to your feelings. Years of your hard work and career opportunities can suffer a huge setback in case it comes in the way of achieving your professional images. Worse, you could get into legal repercussions which could leave your professional image tarnished.
In conclusion, you must take a step back and think carefully on the above questions, especially if it is an unspoken attraction between married coworkers. It is definitely not worth pursuing if it has negative connotations for your marriage or your work-life boundaries. So, go on, have fun but make sure you don’t hurt anybody!
Infographic- Unspoken Mutual Attraction At Work
