You have caught this cute guy stealing glances. The spark is obvious when you two are dangerously close. But is it all in your head? Why else hasn’t he sealed the deal yet? Maybe the signs he will never ask you out are right in front of you. Only you are too delusional to recognize them.
That is not to say he doesn’t like you. You probably are on his mind, but his intentions are a little fuzzy right now. There could be a million reasons why he is holding back. We’re here to save you from another heartbreak and help you realize he’s not the guy you’re waiting for.
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9 Signs He Will Never Ask You Out
It’s time to snap out of the daydream and face reality. We all catch feelings, and sometimes, a crush lingers on for months. But things don’t always pan out the way you hope. The sooner you see the signs he will never ask you out, the sooner you can chalk out your next move. Dare it and ask him out, or walk away? Let’s figure it out:
1. He always introduces you as a ‘friend’
When a guy puts you in the friend zone, there’s very little chance of redeeming yourself from there. Think about it: Has he ever called you ‘bro’? And no, not by accident.
“This is Emily, a close friend of mine”—does he utter this sentence without a second thought? If he sees you as one of the guys, there’s not much you can do unless you are ready to actively entice him. For now, pin it as one of the signs a guy is not into you.
2. He is reliable but keeps his distance
In your heart, you are looking for the signs he will never leave you. Every time he shows up for you, you want to believe he has a soft spot for you. Your assumption might not be entirely wrong. At least, his actions suggest he really cares about you.
He’s there when you need support or help during a crisis. But then there are the undeniable cold chapters where he completely pulls away. If he is pretending to not like you, it’s likely a matter of emotional complexities. And honestly, a confused man could be a dangerous thing.
This May Also Help: How to Make A Confused Man Want You: 13 Clever Tips
3. He never has a heart-to-heart with you
Are all your conversations limited to football, the weather, or random jokes? You have never heard him sharing the malady of his heart, not even about the tussle with his boss. You meet, greet, grab a couple of drinks and that’s it. There is no effort to share, nor to know.
At times, his effort to dodge a vulnerable topic becomes way too transparent. And god forbid, if the guy lets his guard down an inch, he might shut you off for weeks. As much as we hate to break it to you, a guy not trusting you with his delicate emotions is equivalent to the signs he doesn’t like you.
4. He mentions other women he likes
Here’s a not-so-fun game: Do you want to test a guy if he is into you? Casually, give him a chance to discuss other women with you. For instance, “Hey, did you notice Jessica at that party? She was looking sizzling in that sequin dress.”
It’s bad news if he chimes in with, “Oh, yeah, she was smoking hot! I couldn’t take my eyes off her.” When a guy blatantly flaunts his attraction to other women, he has very little interest in taking things forward with you.
5. He avoids one-on-one time with you
This behavior can be interpreted both ways.
Scenario one: He does have feelings for you, perhaps more than he admits. He doesn’t trust himself around you, worrying he might overstep some boundaries. It’s possible if you are colleagues or there are other restrictions.
Scenario two: Now, this might hurt, but he probably feels bored or awkward spending time with you alone. Even though you two bond well and share a lot of fun times, he does not feel it for you to spend alone time with him. Sometimes, two people don’t click, and that’s okay!
6. He drops hints for you to make the first move
So, he likes you, only not enough to make a bold statement and ask you out. What he does instead is make you fall for him and make the first move. Saves him from the rejection as well. He will deliberately put you up to situations where you have to text first or initiate a plan—“Text me if you miss me,” or “Let me know when you are free for a coffee”.
His jokes often start with, “Imagine if we were dating…”. He might even indirectly hint that you are his type. This charm will work on you before you see the pattern and realize he’s merely toying with your feelings.
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7. He doesn’t compliment you ‘romantically’
I once had a massive crush on this guy, and for good reasons. He was so generous with his compliments, noticing and appreciating the tiniest things. Me, being the naive, hopeless romantic that I am, took it for love.
Little did I know, he was just being friendly. Now that I play his words in my head, it seems more casual than flattery. “This color really suits you”, “You’re so fun to be around”, “I admire your work ethic”—do you hear how generic they sound? Unromantic compliments are signs a guy is not into you.
8. He doesn’t put any effort into his appearance
Do you remember the pre-date panic in your room? What to wear, how to put on your hair? Jitters are normal when meeting your favorite person, even if it’s not a date. You simply want to dress to slay.
Likewise, you will notice a visible change of appearance in a guy who subconsciously likes you. He would adjust his collar or fix his hair. He will wear the colors you like. The obsession to look perfect will be evident in his fidgety gestures. If your guy doesn’t even bother to change last night’s shirt before meeting you, take the hint!
9. You are nowhere near in his present or future
One of the major signs he doesn’t like you—you don’t seem to be on his radar altogether. He forgets to invite you to his events and always leaves you hanging on ‘seen’. You may have to hear it from a mutual friend that he got a job offer overseas.
It’s crystal clear that he has no interest in including you in the big decisions. This indifference will eventually start showing through his words and actions. We want you to be strong enough to accept the truth.
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Why Won’t He Ask Me Out If He Likes Me?
We assume you can relate to the signs he will never ask you out. But did you disagree with the ‘he is just not that into you’ part? Your sixth sense tells you his heart belongs to you, yet he chickens out whenever it comes to proposing a real date. Why? Let’s unravel the male psychology behind it:
1. He’s skeptical about your response
One obvious explanation for his withdrawn nature is ‘fear of rejection’. It seems he is not convinced that the interest is mutual. From his perspective, you might be out of his league. Or perhaps he is unsure if you would get offended by the advancement. With so many loose ends, approaching you becomes way more complicated than it should.
2. He doesn’t have the time for a relationship
Sometimes, in life, we stand at a juncture where other priorities take precedence over a relationship. Possibly, he spends a lion’s share of his day at work or is swamped with familial responsibilities. His reality leaves him with little to no time or passion a romantic partner deserves. Perhaps, with everything said and done he is one of the guys who want to stay single at the moment. It’s not like he doesn’t want to date you. It’s merely a ‘right person, wrong time’ situation.
3. He has difficulty expressing feelings
Men have a long-standing relationship with emotional unavailability. One moment, he’s flirting, and the next, he acts like you barely exist. Don’t read too much into it if he compliments you but never asks you out. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his struggle with vulnerability and commitment.
This May Also Help: When A Guy Acts Interested Then Backs Off: 10 Possible Reasons
4. Your friendship is his first priority
We hear stories about how it spells doom for a friendship when ‘feelings’ intervene. I have seen best friends drift apart after years of camaraderie simply because one person caught feelings and the other wasn’t there yet. If he’s hesitating to make the move, he might be scared it will spoil your friendship. Clearly, he does not want to risk it all.
5. He’s playing hard to get
Oh, didn’t you hear? Boys love the chase as much as a girl! To see a girl grovel for his attention gives his pride a solid boost. He’s relishing the spotlight, waiting for you to make the first move.
“Guys talk to me but never ask me out”—sound familiar? Well, not every guy has the privilege or confidence to pursue a girl he likes. That’s entirely on him—not you! Now that you recognize the signs he will never ask you out, you can finally let go of the negative self-talk. You are smart, gorgeous, and enough on your own. No guy is worth mocking your self-worth, so, chin up!
Key Takeaways
- If a guy friend-zones you from the start or openly gushes about other women, he isn’t romantically interested
- His reluctance to spend alone time with you or have real and vulnerable conversations should also tip you off
- He might hesitate asking you out because of his inherent shyness or relationship anxiety
- A Casanova, on the other hand, might enjoy the chase and push you to make the first move
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Can a guy like you and not ask you out?
Yes, there’s a good chance of that if he is a shy, introverted individual. His anxiety might act up every time he is about to make a move. What if you say ‘no’?
2. Is it a red flag if a guy doesn’t ask you out?
No, it’s not necessarily a red flag. What if you don’t know the whole story, and he has pretty good reasons for holding himself back? On the other hand, it’s a bad sign if he is genuinely scared of commitment or doesn’t have the bandwidth to express his emotions.
3. Why is he taking so long to ask me out?
Maybe he’s not sure how he feels about you or is just playing the field right now. He might be content having you as a friend in his life. Or perhaps your desperation gives him a kick. You would never really know which one it is, would you?
4. Should you ask a guy who hasn’t asked you out?
Why not? But only if you are sure of his consistent efforts or know him to be an inherently good person. Don’t lose your dignity for someone who treats you like an option.
Infographic: Signs He Will Never Ask You Out (Even If He Likes You)
