Walking Away From A Confused Man – The 8-Step Strategy

You ask your man, “Where is this going?” over and over again and he averts the topic. He gets mad at you for nagging or says that he is not ready for anything serious. Either way, he still expects girlfriend benefits from you. God forbid, if you are a little friendly with another guy, he will act all jealous. Such mixed signals can make your life a living hell. In some cases, walking away from a confused man is the only way to put an end to this misery.

It will not be an easy decision given your history with this person. Your feelings will come in the way. The fear of being alone in the future will hold you back. But it’s time to rise above your emotional weaknesses- you need to understand that a confused man has nothing to offer but only pain and misery.

Prioritize your self-respect and mental well-being. Knowing when to leave with your head high is an art of living. Let’s delve deeper into why and how to walk away from a confused man. 

5 Signs You Need To Walk Away From A Confused Man 

“Should I try a little longer to make him come around? Or should I walk away with my dignity?”—the biggest dilemma for anyone dating a confused man. After all, you don’t want any regrets after breaking things off.

Then how to decide that you are doing it for the right reasons and not out of mere whimsy? Here are some major signs he is still unsure about you and it’s time to part ways:

1. He is not ready to label the relationship

You have been going out for two-three months or maybe more. He still can’t commit to being exclusive. Forget commitment, he won’t even clarify what it is that he wants from you. A casual relationship? An open relationship? 

Is he emotionally attached to you or is it purely physical for him? Does he expect you to wait until he is ready to be committed? You deserve answers. And honest ones at that.

If he keeps dodging the “What are we?” question for months, he is confused about his feelings for you. Chances are, he is not interested in making it official either. So, that’s your cue!

2. You are tired of making one-sided efforts

Walking away from a confused man would seem like a promising idea when he puts no effort into the relationship. Do you remember the last time he did something nice for you? Or the last time he actually made an effort to make you feel special and loved?

Gestures like bringing you flowers or holding hands feel unnecessary to him. He never texts first. He does not make you laugh. The bare minimum of replying to your texts at his own convenience is usually his effort for you.

• It’s you who tries to maintain consistent communication
• You check on him on how his day went
• You decide where to go for dinner this weekend
• You are the one setting up cute, romantic dates with him
• You are the one planning everything according to his schedule

Basically, your life revolves around him and in his life, you are non-existent. Why would you want to stick around when a guy is uncertain about you?

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3. He can’t honor his words

This one qualifies as a huge red flag for me. I could never be with a man who cannot keep his words or has excuses ready every time he had to do something for me.

He promised he would pick you up from the office and go for a movie. You waited for an hour that day but he was a no-show. And this is just one example of all the times he stood you up. There is more to these early signs your relationship will not last forever.

At the beginning of your relationship, you agreed that you would work and support him through film school. You had plans to move to LA and build your future together. But last week, he took a job in London without so much of an intimation. And now he is telling you all sorts of things about people in long-distance relationships.

Do you hope to make the long-distance work? If his promises to you matter so less to him, it’s better to leave him be.

4. You feel taken for granted 

Guys tend to neglect the women in their lives after a certain point. There is an inherent sense of complacency which makes them feel that they don’t need to try anymore. You may notice a similar pattern in your relationship:

• He doesn’t respect your personal space or you for that matter
• He assumes certain things about you without even checking with you
• He forgets your birthday and other special days
• He never utters one word of gratitude for all the things you do for him
• He is always on his phone when you are talking. He barely listens or is attentive to you
• You feel manipulated and taken advantage of being a giver in this relationship

If this is how he treats you, walk away before it is too late. This relationship will not only play with your self-respect, test your boundaries and patience but will also likely leave you scarred. If losing you is what its going to make him realize your value, so be it.

5. The relationship feels more exhausting than fulfilling 

A study concluded that a healthy, fulfilling relationship will help you achieve of personal and relational goals, and foster healthy attachment style. If that is not where you are, your relationship is not like what it should be.

Know that a relationship has run its course when it starts to feel like a burden. And this can happen if you are dating a guy who doesn’t know what he wants. A confused man has nothing to offer to a good woman but is only there to play with her emotions.

It will take a toll on your happiness. Your self-esteem will go down the gutter. And the constant agitation in your heart will affect other aspects of your life. We suggest don’t waste your time dragging around a dead-end relationship with a confused mind.  

The Perfect Strategy For Successfully Walking Away From A Confused Man 

What to do with a confused man? Well, saying goodbye won’t be easy given this person meant so much to you. But sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. Starting afresh makes more sense than waiting for someone to acknowledge your value. 

Most people fail to handle a delicate situation like this with composure. They end up creating an even bigger mess with all the mud-slinging and blame-shifting. You need a well-thought-out strategy to stay on the positive track during this process. And we have just the one ready for you:

1. Make peace with your decision

As outsiders, other people might say, “Your boyfriend is doing you wrong. Break up with him.” But in your heart, you must know that your concerns are legitimate and you are not making a hasty decision. So, here’s your first order of business:

• Sit down with yourself and figure out what it is about your boyfriend that bothers you
• Has it reached your tolerance threshold? Or can you live with it? 
• Have you done everything you could to improve the situation?

Think this through. It’s important that you move forward with a clear conscience. There won’t be much liberty to feel guilty once you walk away.

2. Be unapologetic as you break it to him

When a man is confused about what he wants, at least the girl needs to think straight. Your case is quite simple—you are not on the same page; he doesn’t treat you right and you want out. But there might be some yelling and breaking things when you tell him. So, here’s how to deal with it:

• Don’t jump into the blame game. State your side of the story
• He might react. But you try to respond calmly without accusing anyone
• Realize that you can’t change anyone. Don’t fall for the false promises he offers, or hope for miracles. This is life, not a fairy tale
• He may try to manipulate your emotions. Don’t give him the power to decide anything for you
• Stand your ground. You don’t need to feel sorry for him or yourself 

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3. Draw boundaries and stick to them

Walking away from a confused man will come with its fair share of challenges. At some point, you may break and desperately want to call him at 3 AM. A few drinks will tempt you to drunk dial him and tell him how hard life has been without him.

He may try to take advantage of your miserable state of mind. He may even convince you to get back together in that one party. Then all you are left with are regrets.

That is why drawing boundaries is a must for your sanity and well-being. Clear, well-defined boundaries will protect your personal space and further facilitate the healing process. Talk beforehand about the following terms:

• Will you keep in touch or do you want a complete no-contact?
• What is the agreement on things at each others’ places? How about gifts?
• If you part as friends, how do you do it? Calls, texts, Instagram DMs, or awkward smiles in social gatherings?
• Do you start seeing other people right away? What are the expectations around that?

We suggest you go your separate ways and don’t contact him at least until you had a chance to process your feelings.

4. Allow yourself the time to grieve 

He might have been confused about his feelings for you, but you were genuinely interested in him. You had your desires and expectations from this relationship. Your future was riding on how this relationship progresses.

Now all your dreams come to a halt. Suddenly, there is nothing to loop up for. You are supposed to be devastated. And honestly, it is alright to feel angry, pained, used and hurt.

But why beat yourself up for feeling bad for a person who gave you nothing but disrespect? Let yourself feel all the feelings—the pain, the anger, the fear, along with the joy of freedom. The healing process is not linear and it doesn’t happen overnight. You need to embrace both the ups and downs. 

5. Pamper yourself more than usual

A breakup can hit you not just emotionally but physically as well. The heartache can result in fatigue, loss of appetite, and even cause your weight to fluctuate. You deserve an extra dose of self-love and self-care to cope with the pain. For instance,

• Your heart might desire ice cream at midnight. Order in a tub. And don’t worry, research supports weight gain is not a high probability
• Eat small portions of healthy food in short intervals
• Sleep an extra hour if you feel exhausted
• Go for a stroll in the park
• Working out might seem difficult but try to do it for at least fifteen minutes
• Go for a body massage; get your nails done, take a facial, indulge in a spa
• Take cold showers
• Start journaling your thoughts regularly 

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6. Find your true self again

When a guy is uncertain about you, it can ruin your self-confidence. You put yourself under the microscope and scrutinize everything.

Am I not good-looking enough? Am I a bore? Am I not smart enough? Well, this incessant self-doubt ends now. Walking away from a confused man was a great first step. From this moment forward, every action you take should be in service of rediscovering your true self. Here’s how:

• Practice mindfulness. Meditate, create a slow yet rewarding morning routine
• Try to find peace in your own company
• Avoid the negative self-talk. Try positive affirmation techniques 
• Surround yourself with motivating, positive people
• Embrace the emotional maturity that came with this breakup
• Find your purpose in life 
• Give yourself enough space to heal and grow as a person

7. Find the right way to channel your frustration

You are aggrieved and that’s justified. If the person I am dating has commitment issues or takes me for granted, I would be furious too. But drinking your pain away is not how you should deal with it. Not just substance abuse, drowning yourself in unhealthy living habits, or taking it out on the people who care for you are equally unacceptable. Here’s what you could do:

• Listen to good music, perhaps rock or heavy metal
• Go to the gym and punch a sandbag
• Look for a rage room near you where you can break things
• Scribble your thoughts on a paper and crumple it or tear it into pieces
• Writing an unsent letter to him can help you find closure
• Call up a friend and vent
• Keep yourself engaged with productive tasks

8. Don’t be shy to seek help

It’s possible that you make your best effort to heal and feel better but all in vain. After three months, you still wake up with a heavy heart and dark circles under your eyes. And then you come to know of the presence of another woman in your ex’es life wrecking your healing journey. At this point, it will be wise to consider therapy.

A licensed professional can help you explore your emotions and come to terms with them. If not, you can turn to a trusted friend or family member to confide. Realize that asking for the emotional support you need is not a bad thing. It doesn’t make you a weaker person.

What Happens When You Walk Away From A Confused Man 

Walking away from a confused man was the hard part and you are done with it. So, what happens now? It depends largely on how you take the separation from the person you loved. But we would like to look at the positive side. Let’s discuss the possible scenarios:

• First of all, it’s not the end of the world. If anything, it opens the door to friendship and new relationships
• You feel a lot more confident now that your boyfriend’s negative shadow has been lifted
• Will the guy miss you after losing you? Will he realize he messed up? The odds are fifty-fifty. Guys do tend to want what they can’t have. Or he can remain the same aloof person because he was really not invested in this relationship
• You get back to all the things that used to make you happy before you met him
• You reclaim your power as a woman and start building an amazing life for yourself
• Eventually, you find someone who sees your worth and loves you unconditionally 

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Your life changes for good when you finally stop being naive and call out this guy’s mixed signals. He is not worth your love and attention if he doesn’t know how to respect a girl and keep his promises to her. You don’t need to feel guilty; he had it coming. Walking away from a confused man is a bold step, and we are glad you are headed toward a better future for yourself.

However, every separation comes with a life lesson. In this case, you learn to be more assertive of your needs in future relationships. Take that with you and march forward to the upcoming adventures.

Frequently Asked Questions On Walking Away From A Confused Man