You have a soft corner for this guy you’ve met. From what it looks like, those feelings are mutual. At least that would explain why he always laughs at your lame jokes. But the way he withdraws the moment things get real—that remains a mystery. “How to make a confused man want you?”, you wonder!
Well, men usually are a festival of mixed signals. They would walk a long way, torn between ‘to commit or not to commit’ before opening their hearts. So, if you got yourself an emotionally unavailable man with a string of trust issues, it’s a tedious journey ahead for you. Don’t worry! We are here to tell you how to turn the tables and make him fall head over heels with you.
What Are The Signs A Man Is Confused About You
When a man is confused about what he wants, it doesn’t necessarily mean he has zero interest in you. Don’t take his actions at face value—his heart is probably beating for you. Chances are he is either too shy or too afraid to admit it and living in complete denial. Watch for these signs to know if your guy is failing to deal with his feelings:
- He would never say that he likes you. Yet he’ll wait at the airport for three hours just to make sure you get home safe
- He is fine with casual dinner dates but anytime it gets more serious than that, his commitment phobia comes in the way
- He will be intimate in private but would refrain from PDA
- He’s possessive. His feelings for you only resurface when another guy shows interest in you
- He might be putting up a show of avoiding you. But his body language tells a different story. Why else would his eyes be on you the entire evening?
- He would love to mingle with your friends and folks but won’t reciprocate the gesture
- His ex makes an appearance in all your conversations which suggests he is still not ready to move on to a new relationship
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13 Clever Tips To Make A Confused Man Want you
To find love in this emotionally complex dating era is like hitting the jackpot. No wonder you want to ensure his search for the right person ends with you. So, let’s pass you the answer key to the biggest question: how to make a confused man want you?
1. Stop the chase immediately
It’s page one of the playbook—when a man is uncertain about you, you need to give him space. To be completely honest, smothering him with a hundred text messages won’t help him get any clarity. Neither would the emotional guilt trip to get him to say ‘yes’.
Pull away to make him want you. There should be enough breathing room for this guy to notice your absence and feel whatever he feels for you. Sometimes a little distance can work like magic to appreciate a person’s presence more vividly. The moment you stop commenting on all his Insta stories, he’ll get a window to actually miss you!
2. Be your natural, happy self around him
We understand it’s a big ask. Around him, your heart probably pounds at light’s speed. And your tongue slips off words like “Hi-lo”—you know, like when you go for a ‘hi’ and end up saying ‘hello’. Being yourself won’t come easy but if you want this confused guy to choose you, that’s your best recourse. Let’s tell you why:
- He’ll get a chance to see and fall for the ‘real’ you
- There’s nothing sexier than women who exude confidence in their own skin. He won’t be able to resist!
- The nonchalant act will convey how you are not eager for his attention. Basically, you will be playing with the typical guy trait where they want someone they can’t have
3. Sprinkle your attention; don’t pour
While a little space is called for, too much of it can push a confused man in love further away. From his perspective, your ignorance is a clear sign you are not interested in him romantically. Somewhere between radio silence and dropping everything else to accommodate him, you need to find a sweet spot in the middle. Here’s how:
- Making plans is fine as long as he also takes the initiative sometimes
- Respond to his messages right away but don’t immediately jump into a new conversation
- Laugh at his jokes. Avoid the dramatic girly hair play or the overused “Oh my god, you are so funny” in an annoying vocal fry
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4. Smile!
This is not an invitation to smile endlessly, lost in his thoughts or fill your notebooks with his name. You don’t want the world to know your business. It has to be strategic and intended for that one special person.
Save your warmest smiles for this guy and light up his day when the opportunity arises. A smile is the harbinger of joy and positivity. It attracts good vibes and people into your life. Every time you smile at him, it’s like you are opening the door to your heart a little. He will find you more approachable and maybe make a move finally. You never know!
5. Make an effort to be his friend
What to do when a guy is confused about his feelings for you? Take the pressure of relationship and commitment off the equation and focus all your energy on being a good friend.
Think about it—he’s already having a tough time making sense of what you mean to him. At this point, the forced romance and the infamous ‘where is this going?’ talk is the last thing he needs.
Instead of the ‘either now or never’ ultimatum, hold his hand as a reliable companion. Create a safe space where he feels comfortable turning to you on a bad day and sharing the load off his heart. Be that ‘person’ first and love will chase you itself.
6. Show him what makes you a great girlfriend
Right now his intentions toward you are hanging by a thread1. A little part of him is drawn to your charm. But is it mere infatuation or is there something meaningful underneath? There’s only one way to make a man change his mind and be obsessed with you.
Show him what he is missing out on every day that you are not his partner. It’s also the most graceful way to outshine the competition if there is another girl in the picture—far better than spreading rumors or playing mind games. Wondering how to make him want you instead of her?
- Look excited about the things he is passionate about
- Support his aspirations in life
- Don’t sacrifice your individuality and personal agendas to be at his constant beck and call
- Spend time with him; take him to your favorite spot in the city; create amazing memories together
- Be the most understanding person there ever was. If he is stressed about work and cancels last minute, give him the benefit of the doubt instead of making him feel guilty
7. Win his trust
A confused man will only imagine a future with you when he knows he can lean on you. Without the trust factor, all you have is a fleeting connection. Don’t forget trust cannot be built overnight. It takes consistency—every action, each small gesture counts. In the meantime, you have to be patient and curb the expectations. So, how to make a man want you and only you?
- Make sure his secrets are safe with you
- Being vulnerable doesn’t come naturally to many men. If he confides in you in a moment of weakness, don’t ever judge him or tease him about it later
- If the situation arises, you could stand up for him to prove your loyalty
- Be there for him; show up. If you promised to take his dog to the vet, don’t miss that appointment
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8. Get yourself a makeover
Now this is more for your benefit than his. Self-improvement is directly proportional to high self-esteem. Even research shows a new haircut has a great impact on relieving stress and boosting one’s confidence. And if you rely on the idea of the Universal Law of Attraction, remember—‘like attracts like’.
When you have an optimistic outlook and an abundance of appreciation for yourself, other people will see you in the same light. Not to mention, a makeover and some fancy clothes will make you ten times more attractive in his eyes.
He will take notice of you and not in a ‘she is just a colleague’ kind of way. If you are looking for a quick fix to ‘how to make a confused man want you’, maybe it’s time for a shopping spree.
9. Play the jealousy card
We all know that a confused man is a dangerous man. He will drop mixed messages and yet never acknowledge his emotions. Though he subconsciously wants you, his logical mind hasn’t come to terms with it.
Your job is to bring these feelings to the surface. It’s possible if you can trigger his fear of losing you to another man. No, we are not asking you to have another full-blown affair on the side.
A few pretend coffee dates with a male friend will do the trick. Before you know it, he will suddenly have an opinion about this ‘new’ guy and why he is not right for you. Trust us, it’s one of the best ways if you want to get him to confess his feelings.
10. Hold back from oversharing
Never underestimate the value of a little mystery between potential lovers, especially during the talking stage. As your relationship coach, we suggest, do not blabber all about your manipulative ex on the very first date. Maybe a simple “We wanted different things” will suffice, if, at all, he asks about your past.
Keep it short and cryptic. And you will find him exactly where you want—like a moth hovering around your flame. Try these responses to make him think about you day and night:
- “How are you doing?”—“Just handling a few things”
- “Bali was a life-altering experience! I will tell you the next time”
11. Be on his radar
As they say, out of sight, out of mind. You can’t afford to stay off his focus for too long. Instead of directly imposing on his life, find a way to make your presence felt, not forced.
Pop up on his social media feed frequently. Maybe join the same gym or bump into him casually in the supermarket. The idea is to cross paths with him a few times a week. And if you have mutual friends, nothing like it. Make sure they start talking—your name should slip into their conversations with him. Just remember, subtlety is your greatest ally in this ruse.
12. Keep the flirting on
Have you ever considered that he is keeping distant because he’s not sure how you feel about him? You tried being friendly, made him laugh—sadly, your desire to be his girlfriend was never evident from your behavior. It’s time to change that dynamic.
So, flirt away! Studies show people stay involuntarily single because of their stunningly poor flirting skills. Let’s remedy that, shall we? Here are our tips:
- Tease him playfully. If he brags about something, say, “Oh, should I be asking for your autograph now?”
- Let the compliments flow: “Someone’s looking handsome in that shirt”
- Drop a few hints maybe: “I feel we would make a surprisingly good team!”
- Brush your hands against him very subtly, such as gently grabbing his fingers while crossing the road, or a compassionate pat on the back when he is emotional
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13. Move on with dignity
Trust us, you have done enough! We don’t see what more you could possibly do to make him see your worth. There’s nothing more humiliating than waiting for an answer without any sign of effort or even a simple acknowledgment from the other person.
It’s bound to hurt but the truth is that you are wasting your time if he is too afraid to face his feelings. Our vote goes to walking away from a confused man. If it’s meant to be, he’ll figure it out on his own and reach out to you.
That should clear up any confusion around ‘how to make a confused man want you?’. Remember, this is not about winning him over or making the choice for him. You have to give him the freedom to realize you are ‘the one’ at his own pace. Manifest this guy with every arrow in your quiver and let the connection grow naturally.
Infographic: 13 Clever Tips To Make A Confused Man Want You
