It is natural for men to vie for the attention of a woman, but if a married man continuously makes efforts to get your attention, it can be confusing. Perhaps you have already tried to brush him off, but he is persistent, making you wonder if he is genuinely in love with you. And so you are here, with a perplexed mix of emotions looking for the signs a married man is in love with you
Perhaps your heart too races when he talks to you, offers you help with work, or makes you feel special. You feel like he gets you like no one else, but yes, he is married. You two share an intense chemistry, he cares for you and is super nice to you, but, is he serious about you? Is it even worth thinking about him given he is already married?
What is the reality of dating a married man? Let’s find an answer to all this and more as we tell you how to pick up signs that a married man is in love with you.
When a married man falls for you, it makes sense to be sure about his real intentions to save yourself from pain, heartbreak and the tag of being the other woman. When a married man says ‘I love you’ to another woman, you may feel special but also wonder if these words are merely a manipulation tactic. I personally went through this experience myself, and though I did not give in, I still feel he really cared for me, no matter the outcome of the complicated equation we had. Though we are leading very different lives now, and are not in contact, it turned out he had deep feelings for me, but not in a bad way. He never did anything to manipulate me, or to come in the way of my life. I just wish I was a bit kinder to him.
When he confessed his feelings, the first thought that crossed my mind was “it might be just his way of having a good time with an extramarital affair, trying to have a physical affair with me. The thought that he could be genuinely interested in me and true to his romantic feelings for me never crossed my mind, until much later. If you too are sailing in the same boat, let’s delve deeper into this maze of emotions and understand the signs that a married man loves you, but without trying to manipulate you to get to sleep with you.
What Are The Signs A Married Man Is In Love With You?
Most men find it difficult to express their new love and feelings because of their marital status. When a married man says he misses you, it could be a possibility that he is hiding his feelings for you and is yet to reach the point where he can honestly own up to his emotions.
A married man falling in love with another woman is indeed a tricky situation, leaving you in a dilemma: This man feels for me and stares at me all the time, but does he love me in the first place? He says he thinks about me all the time, but will he leave his wife for me?” Fret not! Keep an eye out for these tell-tale signs to find out if this man is in love with you.
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1. His approach to his married life
A married man in love with someone else will either discuss his married life threadbare or completely refrain from even mentioning the same. You could be facing either of the two situations: this married man never mentions his wife, or he flirts but mentions his wife.
By being too vocal about his marriage, he might try to give the impression that it is a failed marriage. Since he is not happy with his love life, he is showing interest in other women. This way, he gains your sympathy and has a chance with you.
If he is genuinely interested in you and is telling the truth, then this communication about his marital status also suggests the transparency he wants in his relationship with you. He does not want you not to know he is not married. So he flirts with you, shows he is interested in you, and yet keeps mentioning his wife to make sure you know what you are getting into.
One the other hand, if he hardly ever talks about his wife or never gets her to office parties, then it could be his guilt at play. He might as well be uncomfortable with the double life he’s leading, bad enough to keep him from talking about his wife and family members. He never mentions his wife because he might be a different person altogether at home. Read between the lines to decode his motives accurately.
2. He acts as your superhero
You have a tiff with a co-worker, he takes your side. Your car breaks down, he helps you fix it or drops you home. You are stuck on a project, he works overtime to help you get through. He is your hero, flying down to get you out of a rut every time you are in trouble.
If the guy sees you as his someone special, he will act on his hero instinct. It’s this deep-seated urge in men to feel needed and appreciated by the people they love. And for that, they will make themselves useful; they will be your knight in shining armor no matter what the crisis. You will know if your married colleague is in love with you when he goes out of his way to lend you a helping hand, over and over again.
While a little bit of it might be part of his charm in order to impress you, most of it is instinctive, arising from a subconscious level. When you notice he is not being ‘kind’ to just anyone and the princess treatment is reserved only for you, you can measure his emotional investment.
3. He tries to find common interests
Married or not, if someone likes you, they will want to figure a way to bond with you and get your attention. This is when most people try to figure out what their love interest likes, because having common interests can help conversations flow smoothly. You know someone likes you when they hint at the similarities or the shared interests.
- He will constantly remind you of the common ground between you two
- He wants to know your areas of interest and hobbies
- He will tell you that you are the type of girl he always wanted
- He tries to develop the same interests as yours
- He always wants to show how similar you both are and manages to draw some analogy or the other
If you find him imitating your actions, mannerisms, or language, then it is certainly one of the signs a married man is in love with you. He is not only making an effort to get to know you better but is also attempting to forge a close connection with you.
Shared interests and passions give you common ground to talk about, bringing you closer to each other. By doing so, he is trying to woo you and also get closer to you.
4. His body language screams out his love for you
One of the most obvious signs of a married man flirting with you is his body language. The alpha male hidden deep inside him comes to the fore. While he might still be toying with the idea of confessing his love, his body language will spill the tea.
His making eye contact with you, looking at you when laughing, leaning in to talk to you, and getting nervous around you are some of the good signs. He would even try to steal an opportunity to make physical contact with you, albeit in a friendly way, while handing you things on the pretext of shaking hands, giving out high-fives, etc.
The way he uses space around him, the way he presents himself before you—all these subtle things will help you understand his intentions better. If he loves you but is scared for obvious reasons, and he is fighting his feelings for you, you’d know that by reading his body language better.
5. He showers you with compliments
‘I don’t like being complimented’—said no woman ever! And men know this very well. So, you will see this married guy complimenting you every now and then for your beauty, intelligence, professional skills, style and fashion sense, common sense, et al.
Now, of course, there are guys who compliment women just for the sake of it. But this one will be careful enough to notice little nuances about you before he praises you. He will compliment you in the least expected way to let you know his interest in you. And for the things that will steal your heart anyway.
It is a huge sign from their end that they are noticing you. It means they are paying attention to every little detail. And it is not for nothing that they are showering you with all the care, attention, and… compliments!
6. He makes you his priority
One of the most clear signs a married man loves you is that he makes time for you. Every time, without fail. We all know time is a luxury, and if someone chooses to spend it over you, it can’t be for superficial reasons, right?
- You want him to help you run errands? He is there for you
- You are feeling down and dejected. He will lift your spirits
- You need to tend to your nursery. He will get his gardening toolkit
As a married man, he must have his hands full of responsibilities. He would have personal errands to run and engagements to keep. What little free time he gets, even during the weekends, he sets aside for you. That speaks volumes about how he chooses to prioritize you above everything else. He loves talking to you and making time for you, and he will go to great lengths to make you happy.
7. He is curious about your love life
So he likes you. But before he tells you about his feelings, he needs to know about your relationship status. He shows a deep interest in your love life and is always asking you about who you are dating etc.
He just wants to be sure that he is the only man in your life. Knowing your availability for a relationship is of utmost importance to him, and so he keeps a tab on your dating and relationship life.
Additionally, a married man who has strong feelings for you will easily get jealous if he feels you arre getting interested in someone else.
A man is interested in a woman’s love life only when he is attracted to her. If your dating status is a recurrent feature in your conversations, then understand that he wants to express his feelings for you.
He is just gaining a clearing ground before doing so. His curiosity about your love life is one of the most clear signs a married man likes you but is hiding it.
8. He shows his vulnerable side to you
Picture this: You both are casually hanging out when suddenly he opens up about his fears and insecurities. He lets you into his inner world and shares his thoughts and feelings with you.
The seemingly hard exterior that he has been putting up for so long, crumbles up before you as he bursts out in tears, expressing his worries and anxieties.
He trusts you with his deepest and darkest emotions. He sees a safe haven in you and isn’t afraid of being emotionally vulnerable with you. This emotional vulnerability underscores his deep love for you.
Married men aren’t the ones to easily let their guard down. They sure know the stakes are high if they intentionally or unintentionally reveal their weakness for another woman.
If he is sharing a little too much, that vulnerability stems from trust and emotional intimacy, not just attraction. He sees you as a confidante. He knows he is not exposing himself to judgment by letting you into his private world. He trusts you with his deepest and darkest emotions, and it is one of the clear signs a committed man has fallen for you.
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9. He is a different person when you are around
He likes you more than a friend. So it is natural for him to act and behave differently. When he is with others, he is his natural self—faulty and imperfect. But when he is with you, he puts his best foot forward because he has feelings for you and wants to impress you.
This ‘difference’ in his behavior could actually stem from his nervousness or anxiety, his need to leave a lasting impression on you. He fears screwing things up and hence treads cautiously or ‘differently’.
He wants to come across as someone who has got it all–looks, intelligence, humor, fashion sense, confidence, success, and everything else.
But, why is he making so much effort to be the ‘best’? Just to impress you! Clearly, this is one of the sure-shot signs a married man is attracted to you!
10. He appears more groomed than ever
This might be another one of his tactics to catch your attention. He will make a visible effort to look like a dapper Dan just to impress you. For instance:
- Running his hands through his hair while talking to you
- Asking you if you noticed his new hairstyle
- Dressing impeccably everyday
- Making sure to hit the gym or atleast mention it to you casually
- Tidying himself up or adjusting his clothes on seeing you
- Making sure he is always smelling great
These are just some of the indicators that he wants to be physically attractive just to get your attention. Your opinion on him matters to him and he wants to ensure that it is a good one.
A word of caution here: make sure that all his efforts are directed toward you and not anyone else.
Plus, while him going the extra mile to look polished is one of the many signs, it is not definitive evidence of romantic interest.
11. He discusses his future plans with you
When a married man loves you, he takes you along on a ride to peep into his future. He might discuss what plans he has for his future, and how and where he envisions himself in a couple of months or years.
You might even get to hear of him planning to leave his wife to put an end to his marriage. Considering the gravity of the matter, he would not fool around and talk about it in jest.
If you notice this final nail in the coffin, know that he is seriously considering being with the one person he loves the most: you. He has already figured out how to stay committed to you and hence wants to leave his current wife to pursue you.
Maybe it’s time for you to take a pause and think about what you want to do. Put an end to this if dating a married man is not on the cards, or go with the flow if you feel the same for him.
You should know that a married man may say all these things in order to manipulate you into being with him. Unless you see his actions actually align with the promises he makes, it will be wise not to have blind faith in his words.
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12. He is jealous of other guys you talk to
Some signs a married man is jealous if someone approaches you or you mention someone specific would include him getting upset, putting down the other man and distancing himself Jealousy has always been an indicator of love, hasn’t it?
- You tell him how cute and helpful your new neighbor is, and he cautions you against strangers
- You eye a mutual co-worker and comment on his smart dressing sense, and he brings to your notice how the co-worker messed up a project
- There is a guy who has been eyeing you for some days, and he goes upto him and tells him to back-off
- You mention about an old crush, and he feels uneasy and uncomfortable.
The one thing common to all these scenarios is his streak of jealousy. He gets irked by your very mention of any other man in your life and exhibits signs of possessiveness. His first reaction to any other guy is negative because he envies that guy.
This one is a crystal clear sign of his romantic feelings for you, which makes him go green with envy. While this is a clear sign of his romantic feelings for you, overdoing the ‘jealous lover’ role reflects on his lack of emotional maturity and disregard for personal boundaries. Tread carefully if you want to take things further with this married man, since his excessive possessiveness can also be a huge red flag.
13. He tries to develop an emotional connection
Physical lust or attraction holds less significance than deep emotional connections for women, and married men are well aware of this. He will go beyond physical intimacy and invest in nurturing your emotional growth together.
Stop googling ‘my boss likes me signs’ to be certain of his feelings for you. You know he has fallen for you if he indulges in deep and meaningful conversations with you.
Instead of going clubbing with you, he would rather steal moments of quietude that can foster a strong emotional bond and bring you two closer to each other.
14. He pampers you
When a married man gives you money, it can be said that he is trying to manipulate you or control you. But when he uses the money to pamper you with things you love, without asking or expecting anything in return it could mean he genuinely likes you.
Does he do all the sweet little things in the world that couples do for each other? Does he use his money to make your life better or to basically buy your time?
If he speaks the love language of gifts wherein he expresses his feelings for you by getting you flowers and chocolates, celebrating your special days then it means he is not splurging on you to get you to bed, but to win your affection. If he makes it a big thing out of your little achievements and milestones, perhaps he wants to celebrate you. One of the signs a married man is in love with you is his tendency to pamper you with thoughtful gifts and affection.
However, if his grand gestures and extravagant gifts feel unnecessary and come with an unspoken obligation for you to spend time with him or reciprocate in another way, then something doesn’t add up. That’s a red flag worth noticing and raises genuine concerns about his intentions.
Sarah, a 32-year-old marketeer, confided to her BFF Jane, ‘I think a married man is obsessed with me. There is always a bunch of fresh flowers on my work desk. The other day, someone delivered a cake to my home to celebrate my kitten Jo’s birthday!’ Soon, she found out it was her boss behind all these sweet gestures.
15. He invites you into his inner circle
You can easily rattle off the names of his close friends and can actually identify them based on the stories of their antics you’ve heard. Married men can go a step further and introduce you to them if they are serious about you and are planning to end their marriage. In such cases, you can be sure his wife knows about you.
They will have you come over on their friends’ nights out and let you in their circle of close buddies. He knows he is married, but his love for you will make him introduce you to some of his closest friends and is indicative of his strong feelings for you.
Getting to know his colleagues or friends might seem like a trivial thing on the surface. But, it really suggests that he is ready for the big commitment by making you a part of his social circle. He might not have mustered the courage to confess his love to you, but he can surely introduce his SO to his friends. And this indicates he is not using you.
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16. He is concerned for you
His concern for your well-being is one of the huge signs a married man is in love with you. He not only cares for you but is willing to go the extra mile to make sure that you are happy and safe. His genuine concern for your happiness, safety, and well-being shines through his words and gestures.
You are down with viral fever, and he gets you delivered a steaming bowl of chicken soup to get you back on your feet. He frequently checks on you to see how you are doing. You are going through a tough time, and he lends you a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. When things get really murky, he sees through the signs and takes you to a therapist. This married man loves you truly and cares for you.
17. He supports your goals
If a married man likes you, he will do everything in his power to support your goals. He will encourage you to follow your dreams and passions while he steadfastly cheers you on. He provides you with all the physical and mental support to help you realize your ambitions.
He not only knows what your goals in life are but actively stands by your side in your efforts to achieve them. You will see through his help and encouragement as his profound love will gleam through it. A man who is constantly trying to uplift you is one who has a soft spot for you. The fact that he pushes you to climb the career ladder clearly shows he is not intimidated by your higher rank or financial freedom. He sees you as an individual and values your aspirations. The selfless factor in his attitude gives away his feelings for you.
What To Do When A Married Man Says “I Love You”
Jess had a co-worker who confessed his love for her after an office party, even though he had been married for 10 years. Needless to say, Jess was taken aback by the confession. She spent the whole night analyzing the situation: “So there’s this married man pursuing me, and he wants to leave his wife for me. He has a wife, but says he loves me? How do I be sure about his falling in love?”
Hear it from our love gurus on the crucial matter of what to do when a married man says he misses you and utters those three little words.
- Be mindful of everyone’s feelings. Remember that he has an already existing relationship and commitment
- Have an honest and open conversation with him. Discuss the scenario with him to learn more about his relationship status, his married life, and his personal life. He might want to reflect on his commitments and their consequences on the other woman and his current marriage
- Know the consequences. Whether it feels guilty to have an affair or your reputation feels threatened in the face of severe criticism or judgment, the emotional baggage can take a toll on you. Be prepared to face it with all your might
- Stay true to your feelings. Do what your heart says will make you happy. In the end, your mental and emotional well-being should come above all
- Make the right choice, judiciously. Pay close attention to your priorities. Would you rather be single and happy or allow yourself to fall in love despite his wedding ring? The choice is yours.
Loving a married man can be tricky and complicated, to say the least. These signs, though genuine, come with a significant moral and ethical weight. It’s essential to approach such situations with care, respecting all parties involved and prioritizing your own emotional well-being. Love is a powerful force, and navigating it in these circumstances can be challenging.
Infographic: Signs A Married Man Really Loves You
