Did you just break up with your partner and you feel like the world has come to a standstill? Well.. This happens. But the good news is that there are times when couples aren’t completely over one another and reconcile after a few months. That’s what we’re going to talk about in this article. All the types of breakups that get back together.
Such breakups are usually a temporary pause rather than a final conclusion. If you are going through a break up and wondering whether your breakup is temporary or permanent, you’ll find your answer here.
That’s exactly what happened with the world famous couple Justin Beiber and Hailey Beiber. They first started dating in 2016 for a while. Sadly, it didn’t work out for them at that time and they parted ways.
Destiny brought them back together in 2018 and look at them now. They had a dreamy wedding and now are now parents to a boy. This is probably one of my favorite ‘couples who broke up and got back together stories’. The romantic relationship that still warms your heart.
Perhaps you gain perspective when you are physically apart.
If you are going through a breakup and wondering whether your breakup is temporary or permanent, you’ll find your answer here. To validate our list of different kinds of breakups, we spoke to Varuna Sharma, Clinical Psychologist (RCI Licensed).
10 Types Of Breakups That Get Back Together Usually
What percentage of breakups get back together? According to a survey by the Good Men Project of 4535 participants, 32% of exes are said to have gotten back together. Another YouGov poll of over 22,000 people suggests that 44% of Americans have admittedly gotten back together with an ex after breaking up.
According to another research, about 37% of exes got back together in the first month, 57% got back together between 2nd and 5th month of the breakup, and only 5% got back together after staying separated for a long time.
Let’s not lose hope on your separation yet as couples find themselves rekindling their relationship after a separation even if they had a messy breakup. We know your healing process hasn’t helped yet and you want to go back to your ex.
Unfortunately, bad breakups and getting back together have become a common thing these days.
Understanding different scenarios on why, when, and what types of breakups get back together can shed light on why some relationships manage to find their way back to each other. Who knows, you will also end up reconciling soon.
1. Impulsive breakups
One of the biggest signs you’ll get back together with your ex partner is when you break up at the heat of the moment. Your ex partner screamed at you, you screamed back, and that’s it. The next thing you know they are packing their bags and walking out the door.
These are called impulsive breakups and though you did not really wanted to breakup, you end up breaking up eventually. Caught in the heat of the moment, couples who breakup impulsively usually get back together when they come to realize what they have lost.
Yes, if are wondering if your ex will come back, let me assure you they will (if they love you). No impulsive decisions can stop you two from being together. If they shared a strong bond and the breakup was a seemingly hasty decision, there might be potential for reconciliation. However, don’t expect your issues to be ironed out overnight. There are many contributing factors, including communication, personal growth, and mutual willingness.
According to Varuna, “If they shared a strong bond and the breakup was a seemingly hasty decision, there might be potential for reconciliation. However, don’t expect your issues to be ironed out overnight. There are many contributing factors, including communication, personal growth, and mutual willingness.”
They find their way back when couples realize that they’ve made a mistake by reacting so harshly. Of course, once the two of you reconcile and talk about your relationship dynamics, you need to sort out the underlying issues that caused the temporary split.
2. “Let’s take a break” breakups
You must have heard Ross from FRIENDS yell at the top of his lungs, “WE WERE ON A BREAK”. They are one of the fictional couples who broke up and got back together, making their fans scream out in joy in the finale episode.
Using “we need to take a break” is one of the common breakup excuses people use to spend some time apart. Some other excuses include:
- “I need some space”
- “I need to recharge and focus on my personal growth”
- “I think this relationship is overwhelming me”
- “I want to have a deeper understanding of myself before a take this relationship to the next stage”
- “This relationship is coming at a wrong timing for me. Can we spend some time apart and see where life takes us?”
These are some more similar phrases that people use when they need a break. You can draw healthy boundaries till they come back and try to focus on yourself while they are gone.
Let them have some self-reflection and see if they are mentally strong enough to continue this relationship. They will come back after a brief breakup and make positive changes in the relationship once they sort out their issues.
Varuna elucidates, “Taking a break is more of a coping mechanism than real separation. When overwhelmed by the conflicts and complications, people often take this temporary escape route. It’s a way to postpone the tough conversations for a little longer.
“Couples gain new perspectives by looking at the issues from a distance. The space helps them reflect on their own actions and acknowledge if they have been too stubborn to admit their fault. Plus, being away from each other gives them a chance to miss their person. If that pull is strong enough, they will make it work despite all odds.”
You May Also Like: Should I Reach Out To My Ex -When It’s Okay And When It’s Not
3. Circumstantial breakups
These types of breakups happen when partners end up choosing their career or personal life over romantic relationships. Circumstantial breakups are perhaps the most common of all breakups.
For example, if your partner got promoted and they decide to focus on their career first, they will ask for a temporary break from the relationship. This will cause an emotional rift between the two of you. So you two will agree to have a circumstantial breakup where both can focus on their personal/professional life.
Similarly, if one or both partners have some personal issues and want to take care of it first, they will part ways temporarily. This is one of the types of breakups where couples get back together once they find a balance between work and personal life. Or the situation that caused the breakup has ceased.
And if they are dealing with any mental health issues or addiction issues, they will tend to their mental health first. Your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will part ways briefly to get better- which is better for both of you.
Once they heal, they will come back because circumstances don’t stay the same for long. They change and so will your beloved’s heart. If it’s meant to be, it will be, or so they say. So yes, your ex will give you another chance if you left them because you had to focus on something else inn your life.
4. The on-again off-again couples
So many couples break up once every two months. They let their spark fizzle out and then reignite it when they get back together. Such relationships are also called cycling or churning relationships.
Research has found that 30 to 60% of young adults have experienced cycling at least once in their lives. This kind of breakups usually happen between unmarried couples as married couples can’t divorce and undo their divorce all the time.
Some common causes of cycling or churning include:
- Life challenges
- Not being compatible with one another
- Not having sexual satisfaction
- Not sure about what you want from this relationship
- Fear of commitment
- You found a more attractive candidate and want to ask them out
Over the past few years, we’ve seen many on-off couples. It worked for some and ended badly for some. It was toxic for Selena Gomez and Justin Beiber but it worked out for Prince William and Kate Middleton.
It all depends on how you both partners fulfill their needs while being on a temporary breakup. It can be an unhealthy dynamic for some couples but some couples like the way it sparks up the relationship. On-and Off couples keep on getting back together even though they break off more than once.
Varuna suggests, “Even if some couples manage to work through their differences time and again, repeated cycling can indicate an unresolved pattern that may benefit from therapy.”
5. Amicable breakup and get back together
The two of you understand each other so well that you ended up having a friendly breakup. You love each other but you need to spend some time apart to become individual human beings again. You decide to part ways, albeit amicably.
Yet, you cannot stop thinking about them and keep exchanging memes.
Such an “amicable breakup get back together” is quite popular among those who believe in having mutual respect for their partners.
There are chances of you realizing after the breakup that they truly are “the one” for you. You have built a strong foundation with this one and even if you are in a new relationship, you will want to go back to your ex partner. Such friendly break ups usually get back together.
You May Also Like: How To Manifest Someone To Text You In 15 Easy Steps
6. The “grass is greener on the other side” breakup
The ‘grass is greener breakup’ happens when one partner starts thinking that they are living a miserable life whereas all their friends are living a happening one. They will end up feeling trapped because they are constantly comparing themselves and their lives to those of others.
They want a new partner because they feel like they are trapped in this relationship, which will make them break up with you.
When life becomes real, they will realize that the grass is the same on all sides. My friend Anna, broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years because he could not support a lavish lifestyle, like some of her friends. It just took her 3 days to realize how much he cared for her, and then se started to miss her boyfriend. Eventually, they got back together after he forgave her. Our expert explains, “Once the water settles after the honeymoon phase, mundaneness sets in and emotional conflicts rise. Many people start to see their relationship as a prison, often thinking they deserve better than this. A more mature, emotionally available partner would have been able to take care of their needs and appreciate them better.
“The unrealistic idealizations and constant comparisons won’t let them value what they have. This urge to upgrade stems from a fear of missing out, settling for less in life. Instead of filling in the emotional gaps, they would rather burn the bridges and move on to the next person. Sooner or later, even that person lets them down because no one can live up to these romantic fantasies. So, they start missing their ex, and this becomes one of the types of breakups that get back together. Whether you accept them back or not is another story.
“That being said, it’s important to note that while some individuals realize how they have undervalued their ex-partner, it doesn’t hold true for every person. People who break up due to external pressure or some deeper incompatibility existing in the relationship may not always come back.”
7. The co-dependent breakup
A codependent breakup is when one or both partners used to heavily rely on each other for various things like:
- Emotional support
- Self-worth
- Identity
It can be challenging when such relationships come to an end owing to the fact that you were intensely attached to one another. Honestly, couples in co-dependent relationships don’t know how to go on about their life without their partner.
Your ex will keep on checking up on you because they don’t know what to do without you. You may find yourself a bit lost, not knowing how to move on, as the two of you were together every step of the way.
This is one of the signs you’ll get back together with your ex, as it will drive the two of you to get back together in no time. Varuna advises, “While co-dependent partners may struggle to stay apart, it’s essential that both individuals work on establishing relational patterns before patching things up. Open communication and clear boundaries are musts to avoid the emotionally enmeshed and toxic territory of a codependent relationship.”
8. The “unresolved feelings” breakup
You separated but you still have feelings for them. You haven’t addressed many issues nor have you thought of having a closure. There’s a feeling of dissatisfaction from both sides and this will trigger you to get back together especially if you were together for a long time.
This is known as “long-term relationship breakup and get back together”. Ofcourse, this is the breakup that hurts the most.
Unresolved feelings will drive some people to have strong feelings for their partner which will make it even more difficult for them to let go and move on.
You still have so much love for one another and want to reconcile. When unresolved feelings keep building up, you can’t help but miss your ex partner. Varuna adds, “Usually, such romantic partners have so much history involved that they can barely get closure. There’s always something left unsaid, or some unfinished business. They are emotionally tangled even in separation and always find their way back to each other.”
You May Also Like: 16 Telltale Signs A Man Loves You But Is Afraid To Admit It
9. The “someone badmouthed you” breakup
This type of breakup is bound to happen when you let external factors like mutual friends, family pressures, or acquaintances plant seeds of hatred and mistrust between partners. Couples should be fiercely protective of their equation and not have the world gossip or talk about their problems.
For instance, when someone close to you speaks poorly about your partner and tells you fake things about them, you will feel like parting ways with them. You will feel like you don’t know your partner and this feeling will cause discontent in the relationship. It may or may not be true but that’s not the case here but they planted a doubt in your heart which will only grow more. This kind of negativity from external sources will only cause more fights and conflicts, eventually leading to a breakup.
And then when you are in that phase of trying to find closure, you will realize that you’ve made a mistake by trusting others more than your partner. Instead of talking things out with your partner and blocking the negative comments from others, you chose to end the relationship, only to realize this was a mistake.
10. The long-distance breakup
Your partner suddenly got a transfer letter from their office and they have to move miles away from you. That’s the “long-distance” breakup. You aren’t sure if your long-distance relationship will survive so you end up parting ways.
And rightly so. You aren’t wrong to think that your inability to spend time like other normal couples will strain your emotional connection and intimacy. Add extra problems like communication challenges, feelings of loneliness despite being in a relationship, and growing trust issues. These things will only mess up your relationship and eventually mental health.
Perhaps it was a good thing that you decided to part ways and stay friends. Nonetheless, when they return to the city after finishing their work, the two of you will be drawn toward one another if you still have feelings.
Key Takeaways
- Sometimes when you break up with your partner, you realize that they have always been the one and you can’t live without them
- You won’t be able to move on because you still love them
- A few types of breakups where couples get back together are amicable breakup, circumstantial breakup, and codependent breakup
- The time you spend away from each other will help you gain clarity and reassess the desire to be together
- However, if the relationship involved emotional, physical, or psychological abuse, repeated manipulation, or persistent harmful behavior, it’s important to prioritize safety and well-being before considering any reconciliation. Therapy can help clarify whether revisiting a relationship is truly in your best interest
Breakups are soul-shattering and challenging but the silver lining to every separation is that it presents a good opportunity for personal, emotional, and intellectual growth. It also gives you a chance to become a better person.
You just have to understand that no two people are perfect. Therefore, you have an opportunity to turn your past problems into a stronger and a more resilient relationship. So what do you think about breakups that get back together? Is it the right thing to get back with an ex when things get smoother for the couple? What are your views.
Frequently Asked Questions On Breakups That Get Back Together
1. Is it normal for couples to break up and get back together?
2. What percentage of breakups get back together?
3. Can couples get back together after months apart?
INFOGRAPHIC- TYPES OF BREAKUPS THAT GET BACK TOGETHER
